it's kristen but most ppl call me k10.

i know i havent been posting much! and i do apologize! i am currently writing a series of blogs,  each one will deal with one of life's little lessons, i will be posting one a day starting very soon i hope!

many thanks and love for your patience,

kristen

i know this isnt really a motivational poster, but its still funny

top ten bizarre road signs

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

lol. this actually happened to me, i mean i wasnt eaten alive by a donkey obviously but in south dakota a donkey stuck its head in my window. it was wierd.

10 skills every man should have.

i thought this is super funny especially since some of my guy friends are super into being masculine, i like to make fun of them for it because they are so silly.

The definition of being a man has changed drastically over the centuries. From he who can kill the buffalo, to he who can afford the most slaves, to he who can afford the tickets on the 50-yard line. The following ten points are the most important skills a man can have to survive in modern society.

10. score a baseball game

Attention to detail and knowledge of the game are vital in the ability to properly score a game. Knowing that a runner touching home scores a run is not enough. A man should be able to document in only a few letters, numbers, and symbols everything that he sees happen from the first pitch to the final out. You should also be able to explain why “BB” means walk.

9. Build a fire

This seemingly basic skill is often overlooked by those who never joined the Boy Scouts. The skill was fine-tuned centuries ago, but one can never be sure when he will have to provide a fire for warmth, to cook, or for sheer pleasure. Start with small dry twigs in the shape of a teepee, and slowly build up to larger pieces of wood. Don’t smother it, but don’t let too much air in.

8. Tie a Tie

Imagine waking up the day of an important meeting or interview, showering, getting dressed, and then not being able to tie the tie. The open collar look might work for some of us, but for most it will simply look sloppy. There are plenty of videos on youtube to help you out. Personally I use a little cheat-sheet given to my grandfather by a department store in the ‘50s. Some things just don’t change with time. Looking good is one of them. I recommend learning the “four in hand” method as it is the simplest – the adventurous might want to try a full windsor. Be sure to have a dimple in the tie

7. Hold their own in any sport

Whether in the pool hall or a volleyball game at the company picnic, no one wants to lose. More importantly, no one wants to look like an idiot. As they say, you can’t win them all, but you can keep yourself from being embarrassed. A man should know the basic skills of every major sport, football, basketball, soccer, baseball, hockey, and various forms of non athletic games such as poker, pool, and fishing. Also, one should be able to explain the rules and basic skills of any of these competitions to any woman who asks.

6. Car Maintenance

Every man has been in this situation: On a date with a cute girl, when suddenly the car stops working. She looks at you with those wide eyes, assuming you know how to fix it. Surprise ladies, we are not all mechanics. However, a man should be able to change a tire, jump start a car, recognize any fluids in the car, and be able to get the car to someone who can fix it, while not showing weakness in front of his lady.

5. wingman

As a man, you have certain responsibilities to your friends. Possibly the most important one is to help him get laid. It may involve starting the conversation, or even distracting the less desirable friend. You should be able to accept anything short of long-term physical injury in order to help a buddy out. These acts should be rewarded for their bravery and must be re-paid.

4. Converse

A good conversation is almost an art form. The ability to be interesting and charismatic without dominating a conversation is a skill reserved for the real men amongst us. A man should have a good joke on hand, as well as a supported opinion of most current events, from the threat of Iran as a nuclear power to the Pacers’ need for a starting center.

3. Basic First Aid

CPR, the Heimlich maneuver, dressing cuts, scrapes, burns, and bruises, are all invaluable skills that could benefit you to know. It could mean the difference between life and death, or simply make you more comfortable. The possible importance of these skills can not be understated. Knowing these skills will also keep you from panicking if the situation should arise. It will keep everyone safer and can save lives.

2. Fix Things

As Clint Eastwood said in Gran Torino, “WD-40, a vice grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone”. Most household problems, from squeaky doors to dripping faucets, can be fixed easily by anyone with a clue. Fixing things by yourself will save you money and be more satisfying than calling in a professional.

1. Cook

Long gone are the days of hunting and gathering, where any food was considered good food. A real man should know his way around a kitchen and be able to cook a good meal now and again. When in the company of others, ramen and poptarts do not count. Check out some of our previous lists for some tips and ideas.

age

im going garage saling with my mom today! yay!!

so i was bored and googled the top pet peeves::

10. overuse of the word actually

       "I actually do actually believe what you are actually saying without you actually having to qualify it with the word actual."

9. global warming propoganda

      "In the 1970’s it was the coming Ice Age. So much hysteria. So little evidence"

8. Bad service at a resturant

7. putting others down

6. thugs

   "News Flash, being a "thug" is not "cool" anymore, pull up your pants"

5. Bitchy School girls

4. screaming children/ temper tantrums

3. movie talkers

2. not washing hands after using the restroom

1. mouth noises.

ok, now heres my list of pet peeves::

10. not washing your hands after using the bathroom

      agreed with that one. gross.

9. h1n1

    you're probablly not going to get it, you can take off that mask, you look ridiculous.

8. movie talkers

7. crooked slow walkers

   walk slow, fine, but it is unnecesary to zig zag and block the whole sidewalk, control yourself

6. people who say "grow up"

    usually they are the ones who need to "grow up"

5. global warming propoganda

   calm down

4. 15 year olds who dress like sluts

    just because you just got boobs and hips doesnt mean everyone wants to see them.

3. people who put down other people

2. people who tell "fish tales"

    no, the "fish" was not that big.

1. poor phone ettiquette

   if your hanging out with someone, hangout with them, dont waste their time by constantly being on your phone, your messages will be there later too.

now I want to know your top three pet peeves.........

follow me on twitter::

twitter.com/k10rulz

haha!

lazy sunday. my parents came back from vacation today. so dinner with them lata.

Random Guy: I like your lime green rain boots.
Ariel: Thanks.
Random Guy: I have a lime green t-shirt, you could borrow it if you want to.
Ariel: No, that's okay.
-Conversation with a friendly drunk guy in an elevator




Marissa: HAHA! I just hit my tooth.
Mike: Ouch.
Mike: Did you chip it?
Marissa: But it's all right cause it's strapped to the other tooth!!
-Marissa, clearly drunk and referring to her permanent retainer

"When driving and driving, don't worry, the truck knows it's way home."
-Russ, reassuring his friends he was the wrong candidate for "soberest person to get behind the wheel"




Kirsty (spraying perfume): I don't want them to know we smoked.
Eason: It doesn't help that you look like Helen Keller when you walk.
-On blind giveaways

"When I met them I thought they were quasi-attractive. Then I got drunk and they were 
models and I was God. Then before you know it one of the models was getting wheelchaired 
up to her room because she was too drunk to walk."
-S, on potential Vegas hookups




Lucy: Alright, we're going home.
Jeremy: How are we getting home?!
Lucy: I'm driving.
Jeremy: You can't be sober Lucy! There's two of you!
-On drunk projecting at a party

"Why don't you have a magical backpack like his?"
-Stephanie, referring her boyfriend to the guy with a beer-loaded backpack






Sean: I feel a slight buzz coming on.
Cassie: I feel a slight "really trashed" coming on.
-On the paradoxes of drinking

"Well we're either going the right way or the wrong way."
-Duff, backseat drunk driving on the way to a party




"Here's how you study: every question you get right, take a drink of beer. Every question you get wrong, 
do a swig of liquor. I've never used this method, but it should be funny to watch."
-Justin, trying to help out the new roommate

"Guys, look at this!! My SmartWater is vapor-distilled AND has electrolytes!! I'M LIVING THE DREAM!!!"
-Greg, demonstrating the "easy to please" effect of blacking out and coming across a bottle of water




Tabby: Do you think it's possible to cradle-toss someone into a third-story window??
Emily: We're drunk. Anything is possible.
-On the dynamics of sneaking boys into an all-girl dorm

"Hey, do you have any fire? I mean internet? ...Wait, why does this wonder ball smell so heavy??"
-Katie, attempting to fight off the alcohol on her 21st




Brett: Man I can't believe he snitched on you, one should 
never snitch 'cause Karma is a mother fucker.
Tommy: Yeah it is, especially when Karma catches him in the
 parking lot after we get off work and beats the fuck out of him.
-Karma's no chameleon either

"Have you ever seen a flamingo? If God existed he wouldn't make their legs bend backwards."
-Random agnostic guy chiming in on a religious conversation




Allison: You can't expect everyone to like you, do you honestly think everyone likes you?
Maria: No, Gothic people don't like me. But that's because I like the sunshine and they don't.
-Discussing Maria's popularity

Joe: Which is better Gorilla tape or duct tape?
Neil: Gorilla tape.
Joe: Really?
Neil: Yeah, think about it, which would win in a fight, a gorilla or a duck?
Joe: Good point.
-On sticky situations

Allie: So she comes up stairs and tells me that she's never taking advice from me again!
Taryn: Asking us for relationship advice would be like asking us to defuse a bomb. We've seen it 
on TV but would you really want us to do it?
-On losing the spark

having a girls night out tonight! at ladies night! no boy drama and free drinks. score.

and im moving in a month! im so excited!

"This girl was set on having sex with me. I mean, she drove me an hour from 
the bar to my apartment while I was passed out in a car that had no power steering in the rain at
3am. So what if she's a butterface? You've gotta reward that kind of 
determination. Or get a restraining order."
-Adam, after a drunken hookup
Western Michigan University




"Who needs wings and a halo when you move ten times faster without a soul."
-Kurt, on speed
Ohio State University

"You can't say 'chastity' without 'ass' and 'titty.' Go ahead, try. You can't do it."
-Kim, on the Freudian ironies of purity
Indian River Community College 




"Constant grinding will turn an iron rod into a needle."
-Dan, reading off a most important fortune cookie yet
Wake Forest University

Drew: Shaq is a cop now? So, can he, like, arrest people now?
Alex: Anyone can arrest someone, its called a citizen's arrest.
Drew: If anyone ever tried to citizen's arrest me I'd citizen's punch them in the face.
-On civil unrest
University of Illinois Champaign Urbana




"I feel like I am walking through a huge dandruff storm."
-Cait, on natural associations while walking in a late snow storm
Susquehanna University 

Robby C: I'd be jerking off if I saw that.
Brad: Why would you be jerking off?
Robby C.: Because when in doubt jingily jingily jingily.
-On the Blair Witch Project after a lot of drinking
Penn State University




Alex: Instead of asking what would Jesus do, ask what would I do if I were Jesus.
Meg: That's a dumb question, I'd sell myself on eBay.
Louisiana State University 

"I just sold my earring to a pirate for five dollars!"
-Sam, on her first legal night out
Murdoch University




"I guess that sometimes it takes a dominatrix in your living room to make you sit t
here and think 'What the fuck am I doing with my life?'"
-Brian, getting his shit together
University of British Columbia 

Sam: We're going to Hell for that Jesus joke yesterday. But knowing us, we'd walk into 
Hell and make friends with Satan on the first day.
Emily: Yeah, he'd be like "Alright listen you two, you and I both know you 
shouldn't be here, so I've set you up with a nice condo on the top floor.
You know, little bit of air conditioning. Let the doorman know if you need 
anything." And we'd be like, "Awesome Satan. Hey, poker and kamikaze's tonight? Bring Chuck
Norris!"
-On warm welcomes
Potsdam University




Casey: Wow, they are dressed really trashy.
Keith: Um yeah, It's a strip club.
Jessica: Holy shit! Those are strippers? I thought they were just regular slutty people!
-Walking down main street on shrooms
Mohawk Valley Community College

Dan: Excuse me, but is your penis cut off?
Transsexual Hooker: No it isn't.
Dan: Oh, well I hope I didn't offend you.
-Why Philadelphia is much more fun when drunk
Temple University




"This must look really weird from space."
-Eric, on aliens watching Halloween unfold at Santa Barbara
University of California, Santa Barbara

Jessi's Dad: no drunk driving.
Jessi: Daddy, I don't drink.
Jessi's Dad: Come on, I'm not an idiot, why else would you go to Tijuana? For the tacos?
-On father daughter understanding
University of California Los Angeles 

"The Gods are pissing on me!"
-Eric, drunk in the rain
University of Maryland College Park




Britt: I just farted.
Linds: I heard it.
Jenn: Did you stink yourself out again?
Britt: No! My loud ones don't smell! Oh wait, here comes another one.
Linds: Please let me hear it, please let me hear it....
-Begging for the thunder
Ashland University 

Cece: Mary I fucking hate you, you are such a whore!
Mary: What did I do?
Cece: I come home and see all these fucking hooker decorations and I told you NOT to get hooker decorations!
Mary: They're skeletons...
-Coming home wasted and upset with the Halloween decorations
Loyola University, Chicago 




"The floor started spinning...so I laid down on it to convince it to stop."
-Balls, drunk but calmly explaining why he was pantsless on the ground to his RA
Keene State College

"Cops! DITCH THE HUBCAP!!!"
-Liz, walking around at 3:30 AM holding a random VW hubcap
New York University

"I kind of don't want this bag of popcorn to end, but, you know, then I think about it, and I do. 
Because that would just be too much."
-Jake, battling the munchies
University of Southern Maine 

Ian: Well, she's not a virgin, and she likes to drink, so I think I've got a shot.
Joe: As long as she's not a virgin. No one waits for their second time until marriage.
-Point/counterpoint on a Catholic chick
University of South Florida

Im going to start posting these again! enjoy!

there are no words for some people. i went to warped the other day and it was so fun! 30h3 was the best! i tried to take a video of them but my arm got tired from holding the camera up and i just wanted to dance, so i only recorded one song. o well.

if you could see anyone perform, who wouyld you want to see?

Here's some funny quotes and convos from college students::




"Whoa, it's like a magic eight ball...except it tells time, instead of the future."
-Liz, on a clock
University of Louisiana - Lafayette

Hannah: Hey you wanna shot?
Liz: Shot?! Oh no I don't do shots.
Hannah: Why the fuck not?
Liz: They're too small!
-Freshman words of...wisdom
University of Iowa 




"Drinking is healthy. There was a Bud Light truck in my gym's parking lot tonight."
-Sarah, on solid evidence

"Saw suspect urinating outside apartment complex. 
Saw suspect finish urinating and put his penis back into his pants."
-Chris's public urination citation write-up
University of Illinois 




Jason: What are you doing on the floor?
Kristin: Warming up.
Jason: Heat rises.
Kristin: Yet I'm closer to hell this way.
St. Mary's University 

"I have a penis!!!"
-Jen, plastered and humping guys on the dance floor
University of Nevada - Las Vegas




"You're kidding, right? That's like going hunting without 
bullets and telling me to have fun just aiming at stuff."
-Morgan, on non-alcoholic beer
Elgin Community College

"Drinking on the job is like having a hot cousin. You want to do it, 
but you know you'll regret it the next morning."
-Bret, on bad ideas
University of Nebraska-Omaha




"Rach, I told you that before and you didn't listen to me, no one 
EVER listens to me...and I know EVERYTHING!"
-Drie, drunk and rambling

Katie: We need to find Julie. I think she went to the bathroom a while ago.
Caitlin: I haven't seen her since we got here, she always wanders off when she's drunk.
(Julie then shows up wearing an eye patch and holding a beer and a plastic sword)
Katie: What the fuck?!
Julie: I made friends!
-Ohio State University




Rowan: This is a bad idea.
Daniel: Yes, but it's the best bad idea I've ever had!!!
-On the joys of cooking while high

"Both of my roommates are gone and I didn't know what to do so 
I tried on all their shoes and had a dance party by myself!"
-Corey, on the depths of loneliness

im eating butternut squash ravioli and its probably the best ravioli ive ever had.

going to lunch with jimmypoo!! i hope we go to chipotle!!

whats your favorite place to eat?